"Dover"

I met the artist who wrote this song today. His name is John Flynn and he's a folk singer / songwriter from Wilmington, Delaware. He sang this song for us all today in the atrium at the mortuary affairs center during a retirement ceremony. It was so moving that I had to ask him where I could find his work, particularly this song. He told me that it was on You Tube and that I could find it there. There are a few renditions, however, this one in particular came with a video, albeit outdated since our uniforms have changed, but I thought it accompanied the song very well.


Here is the link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7X2iJ9usjw


We worked very long and hard today caring and supporting more than 30 family members as we welcomed their fallen heroes home. A total of 6 arrived today and more are on their way home tomorrow.
I had the honor to meet and tend to a military escort tonight, who was escorting two fallen soldiers. I asked him how he was selected for this duty and he told me that he escorts all of his soldiers home if he can. He then told me this was one of many trips he's taken to make sure his fallen men arrive home to their families.
I'm struck by sobering moments like that each day as I continue this delicate, life altering work.
Dignified Transfers Witnessed (36)

Spellcheck & Sleep Deprivation

Good evening,

Tonight is short and sweet. I spent most of today laughing at myself after re-reading what I wrote last night. The outcome was quite sloppy and for the most part lacked coherent thought. That's what you get, I suppose, for trying to convey a touching and meaningful experience when you are lethargic and half asleep! ;o) My apologies for the hyroglifics and third grade writing skills.

My hope is that you were able to gain some sense of what took place last night and that the challenges faced here have far reaching impact even for small children.

For me, "SpongeBob SquarePants," will forever be a memorable character that links me to a moment in time when I was called to watch over two little boys facing one of life's most difficult challenges.

SpongeBob SquarePants & A Box Of Tissues

Hi. Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but things here have been very busy and finding the time to sit and write, when I should be sleeping, is a challenge. I find myself working all hours of the day and night, so sleep, GOOD sleep, is a rare comodity.
Alot has happened in the past several days since I last posted, but time here is a blurr and transparent to me. Monday seems like Sunday and Tuesday seems like Monday. My schedule is skewed with having Sunday and Monday off, but then when Dignified Transfers run late into the night and often into the next morning, it just messes with your internal clock / calendar.
Tonight I had a 7:15 mission that pushed out until 8:00pm. The flight landed and the family was with us at the Center For the Families of The Fallen. The General officer came over from the Navy (Admiral) to speak with the family, however so as to save the two young boys from listening to grown-ups talk about grown-up things, I scurried them off to the X-Box room to help occupy their minds. . I played with two young fellas who learned that yesterday their dad lost his life. So we went into the gameroom an I heped them to play with the X Box. They were excited so we sat down with cookies and juice boxes. The one boy wanted to play Batman, but the other didn't want to. So instead it was SpongeBob Squarepants. I'm okay with it, jus working with those kids was a fun time and good way to edify their dad.
So Jacob and the older boy, John began to play. John was good, but only his little brother could bounce around the Spongebob character. It caused some angst between the two, but they still worked well. When Jacob the littlte guy got upset and didn't want to share, so after he got bored, he handed the game paddle to me. So I was learning buttons and sticks and switches to make it look like I was in control, but I was found out really quick that I am not destined to be great at these games. We played for about a half hour and I was really keeping it exciting. Then I look over to little Jacob and he's just siting there holding his hands, watching us play, but more importantly, his eyes were locked and staring. I asked him if he was okay and he said " My dad died". I quickly offered my condolencs and told him how lucky he was to have a dad who is a SUPER HERO! He went on playing for a time until we had to leave for the flightline.
There was some slight sobbing, as expected, but the boys were checking out the airplanes.
We parked the vehicle and the family got out and stood along the stanchion for the ceremony.
The boys cried little boy cries, and spoke during the sobbing. "It wasn't supposed to be this way Mom" One yelled. "We're still kids, We're still kids." Mom did the best she could to console them.
The story goes that the father was in Afghanistan and was due to come home in a little of 24 days.
We watched and prayed with the family as the DT was soon to comence. Tears flowed and then it got quiet as they watched the movement of the transfer case.
When the DT was completed, the family is encouraged to move over toward the back of the bus, so they can watch the vehicle drive off. The little boys continued crying harder now and I just stayed there with him. on one knee. The onle little boy came up to me and hugged me. I told him his dad was a super hero and that made him a part of the super heroes club. I also told him that I would take care of his Dad while he was here and make sure he go the best care and would never be left alone. He smiled.
We boarded the bus to take the family back over to the CFF. The boys were fascinated by the police escort lights and also the light on the dash of the motuary vehicle. WE talked about how he could swim 7ft. down and grab a diving club. He sounded like that made him very proud. So I went with it so he could tell me more. Suddenly, he broke down into sobbs again and said it wasn't dad's time to go....."We're still kids, We're still kids" He got some tissues and said thank you. Nice manners these boys had. Their Mother attributed that to their father' s upbringing. When we returned to the Center for the Family's of the Fallen, the boys jumped off the bus and ran inside. I followed the one boy and he headed into tht meditation room. I thought he was looking for Tissues, but he wanted a place to be by himself. I followed him in and he closed the door behind me. He cried and sat down on a seat. He told me to c'mere, that he had something to tell me. HE said " I think it's my fault that my dad didn't make it home" He talked about how his dad wanted to buy a Dodge Charger, but there was more to it. Something about he thought his dad was crazy for buying that. Then he bought it apparently and went of to war. So the boy wanted to take blame for his Daddy's death, but I wouldnt let him. I explained that his dad was a wonderful man, who wanted to join the navy to make difference in this world. He gave his life as a gift to help save other people. So I told them that their dad was a Superhero for leaving this world a little better than he found it.
I helped them find some gum and mints in the center, for their ride home. I told him to take care of himself and help his little brother to undertand and set a good example for him.
These boys want to both join the Navy to be Captains just like their dad.
Incidentally, I told the chaplain about what the boy said to me in the room and he went out to the chaplain who is working directly with the family to advise him of that. I wish them well and hope those little guys get what they need to survive this in their lives.

Dignified Transfers Witnessed: 30

Recharging My Spirit

Yesterday and today, I was able to return home and spend some time with loved ones. It was wonderful to escape from the grueling timeline of events that take place here, all hours of the day and night. Sleep and a regimented schedule are seldom found here. Often, we can manage the Dignified Transfers with one chaplain, one assistant and a mental health technician along with a few volunteers. On occasion, however, when an escort accompanies the fallen, we are tasked with meeting them on the aircraft and taking them to see the family, if permission is given. Otherwise, we have to take them to where they will stay until the fallen servicemember is processed and released to the family. It is an additional duty that the chaplain assistant is given. Since there are only two of us here in support of 4 chaplains, we are tasked heavily and are often times on duty together working missions in tandem. One of us is at the "Center For The Families Of The Fallen," while the other is meeting the aircraft and taking care of the escorts that arrive. It's tough to plan for some time off, when you can be called in on a moments notice to perform escort duty, or handle the DT. We are heavy laden with all sorts of communication devices to manage all the alerts and messages that go out to the teams. At times, I'm juggling keys, phones & Blackberries, so that I'm prepared for duty.
I just returned to my room after a bowling event at the base bowling alley. The crew from the Air Force Mortuary, scheduled a social at the alley for us all, so we could get together for a few laughs and some competition on the lanes. We won "Best Looking Team," so I guess you can conclude that we didn't win the tournament! It was still great fun and helped us all grow our friendships since we will be in this together for the next 5 1/2 months.
I have to report at 12:45pm (0045hrs "mil" time) for a DT tonight. We have several fallen coming in and I am to go out and pick-up 2 escorts on the flightline. On a side note, it only took 5 arduous days and 6 painful tests to obtain a flightline driver's license. Couldn't believe that they wouldn't accept that I drive in the Washington DC Metro area as sufficient experience. Go figure.
Anyway, when I get back from this mission, I'm hoping to get some rest and report in the morning around 8am or so.
This will be a very intense and busy week for the team. We have much to accomplish, including a chaplain sponsored dinner on Thursday night for approximately 45 people. I have no idea yet what we will have, all I know is that we don't have a kitchen to prepare a meal in, so we're going to have to get real creative. The prior team had some great meals, so I'm sure we're capable of the same. I've got to rally some helper's, so that will be my goal tomorrow and Wednesday.

Dignified Transfers witnessed (26)

What It's All About

Since many of you may wonder exactly what a Dignified Transfer is, I sought out an example that exists on YouTube. There are several other presentations there, but I selected this one to illustrate what it is that happens at one of these ceremonies. This video was more than likely taken by Department of Defense media and placed on a DVD for the family to have as a keepsake. Families are asked if they would like to have media present at Dignified Transfer and if they choose to have media present, then a DVD is produced for them.
This Dignified Transfer, in particular, occured about a month prior to my arrival. It is a perfect illustration of what takes place.

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Well it has been raining like Niagara Falls today here in Delaware. Good thing I was issued new raingear and had the opportunity to waterproof my boots and hat! I think we received a little over 2 inches of rain between this morning and late in the day. I am scheduled to do a Dignified Transfer tomorrow at 4:00AM, and it is forecast to rain yet again. So, I'll be standing on the flightline, at attention, and holding an umbrella over the family members to keep them as dry as possible, while they witness the transfer of their son.
On Sunday night, I was called in at 10:00pm to pick up an escort that flew in with a fallen warrier. He was accompanying his friend home from Afghanistan after they had only been there for about a week. This soldier was not long in the service to begin with, but he was no doubt seasoned by combat and prior deployments. After I met him on the aircraft, I led him to a waiting vehicle and then I drove him to the Center for the Families of the Fallen. He quickly brushed his teeth while we were driving and rinsed using the open window for a sink. I guess its just what you do when there aren't any other options. He reminded me alot of myself back in my Army days. I dropped him off to meet with the family. He was very shaken and uprepared to meet them and speak to them about their son, his friend.
I did not have to go back out on the flightline, as we had plenty of representatives in the center, but I somehow wish I could have, only to be a part of the process of welcoming his friend home. I think it would have brought some closure to the scene for me.

Dignified Transfers Witnessed (13)

Challenges

Since my last post I made several strides to adapt and overcome the challenges here. I managed to fit in 4 physical training sessions along with my daily / weekly routine. This is mandatory and part of our resiliency regimen each week. One of the sessions was a physical training (PT) assessment. I did well, although, I want to improve my scores. The weather was extremely humid, so I think that affected my run time. Some new sneakers and ongoing training can only help!
I had an aversion / fear of what I would witness in the autopsy center at the mortuary. I was working the processing line this week and knew this was an area I had to face and gain comfort with. So, I stayed through a few autopsies and although the scene is gruesome and disturbing, I found that the technicians doing this work are really scientists. Their work is truly fascinating, overall, and by focusing on the purpose behind what they do, I found a level of comfort and interest. Getting beyond my aversion was a true victory for me and I can only thank God for guiding my perspectives and keeping my soul at peace with everything going on around me.
I am not a powerpoint guru. In fact, I'm as amateur as they come. You see, as part of the chaplain team, I'm also a member of the resiliency team. We have a "resiliency message board" that has to be updated daily. Lucky me... I was given this responsibility, which forced me to up my game a little. So, I began playing around with buttons, testing ideas, and previewing lots of sample slides to figure things out. I'm learning "slowly", but thank God I have a hip pocket teacher!! Tracy, my girlfriend, is a powerpoint specialist!! She has tons of experience, so I have been picking her brain on how to do some elementary functions. I need to keep the presentation board running, while at the same time, learn the basics and a few of the tricks to kick it up a notch. She is my "Powerpoint for Dummies" book and has helped me immeasurably in fixing up the presentation. She even took the slideshow and worked on it to help with overall design and formatting. I'm in a good place now and much more confident in managing this new task.
Going to see my daughter, Miranda, today and will spend some quality time with her this weekend. I'll update in a few more days! Thanks for reading!!

Dignified Transfers Witnessed (11)

Retreating Forward

After working the early morning hours of Independence Day, I was able to take a day off to recharge and retreat from the surroundings that have significantly challenged and impacted my life. Brief escapes are truly healthy and needed to keep from getting drawn into a depressed state that can be overwhelming. Constant snapshots of what is seen play out daily in my mind and in the minds of others, not to mention the assault on all the other senses. So, to cope and process effectively, we all must make sure we are taking care of ourselves and each other. My deployed family survives because we are dependent on each other for critical support and deep understanding.
I welcomed home 3 more fallen service members since my last post. I found joy in speaking to a 16yr old daughter of a fallen soldier, who loved talking about her new car. She was amazingly strong and supported both he mother and brother during the Dignified Transfer of her dad. I was saddened, however, as each comforting word that she offered to her mother was ignored or scoffed at. She gently rolled her eyes, thought deeply and tried again. When we exited the transport, I walked closely by her and told her what an amazing young lady she was and that she was quite strong considering all things. I tried to comfort her by letting her know that all people process and cope with grief differently. She just needed to be patient with her mom and brother. In time, they would find peace and begin the healing process.
A.J.came home today as well. He served proudly in the US Army. His dad, a Gulf War veteran, and family arrived and shared stories of his life. A.J. was a very bright young man. He max'd his SAT score and was eligible to attend West Point, but he turned them down to immediately serve his country in this time of war. I spent time with A.J. yesterday to honor him and ensure his processing went smoothly.
Retreating forward is simply the process of stepping back to meditate and pray for God's strength, wisdom, and the peace that only He can provide, which reaches beyond all that we understand. Without those spriritual elements and His presence in my midst, I know I could not move forward and keep pace with the tsunami of responsibilities I share.

Dignified Transfers witnessed (6)

Independence Day Homecoming

At 12:30AM EST, I will be standing at attention on the flightline next to several family members for the Dignified Transfer of their fallen heroes. There are two this morning, a son and a daughter.
I witnessed my first Dignified Transfer yesterday and I can tell you that it is the most humbling experience thus far in this life. My heart ached for the families I was there to support. I had to catch and hold one woman as her legs just could not hold her any longer. I believe she was the wife of a Marine. The chaplains and others with me swiftly provided a chair for her to sit in. After she was safely seated I returned to the position of attention and followed the order - "present arms" which is simply a military salute we render each time a fallen service member is carried from the aircraft to the waiting transport vehicle.
A mother, who I sat next to on the return trip to the Center For The Families of the Fallen, looked at me with sorrowful eyes. I reassured her that her son would be cared for with utmost dignity, honor and respect. She graciously thanked me and told me that she really appreciated my words. Today, I made sure that my words counted for something, so I took time to check on him in the mortuary and witness his processing for his final trip home. Without uttering a word, I silenty thanked him for his service and asked God to bless him and his family.
I plan to personally make this effort, for the glory of God, as often as I'm able. In the grand scheme of all that takes place here, I believe it is my calling and makes a difference in how I serve those who have given the ultimate sacrifice and their families who mourn.
The 4th of July will have a whole new meaning for me, I'm sure, after what I will witness tonight.

(3) witnessed Dignified Transfers

Official Air Force Mortuary Affairs webpage

Here is a webpage that you can view to read more about the Air Force Mortuary Affairs Operations complex at Dover Air Force Base.

http://www.mortuary.af.mil/

So it begins....

Still have a bit of inprocessing to do before I'm fully operational, however, the mission must proceed. I'm still waiting for domain updates before I have my ".mil" email set up. Alot of my administrative duties rely on email & shared drive access, so I'm kinda in a holding pattern until the IT folks can get account permissions setup and profiles created.
I took an official tour of the Air Force Mortuary Affairs building yesterday. All I can say is that it is truly something that I cannot describe. What I saw and the feelings I experienced were overwhelming. I'm just speechless. As time goes by and I've processed and coped with my role here, I can put things into words that convey the impact this place has on mankind. But, for now I can only try to settle into my role here and find peace each day among the horrors.
The team here is one huge family. We all will work together and watch out for each other. We have several mandatory meetings and trainings that we are accountable for. We have to exercise 4 days a week and sign a roster to show that we attended. We must attend sleep class and also a resiliency seminar that occurs each week. Lessons and briefings are given to help with overall fitness. There are also mandatory social functions that we must attend, so that conversations and close knit relationships can be fostered and maintained for wellness sake. All must attend to keep minds fresh and fit for the duty we are responsible to perform. I ran 3 miles today with my chaplain team!! Looking forward to a very healthful lifestyle here and the chance to make many lifelong friends.
Tomorrow is our first opportunity to witness the "Dignified Transfer". I have mentally prepared myself by watching "Taking Chance" a movie produced through HBO Films in 2009. It is the story of a young Marine, killed in action, who is returning home as a fallen serviceman. The series of events that take place from arrving at Dover AFB, processing and being escorted home are true and actual. It is very well done, highly respectful and discreet. If you have any curiousity at all about what takes place with our fallen servicemembers, this is the movie to see. It can be obtained by going to Amazon.com, since it is unique to HBO documentary films. Get a box of tissues.